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Messages - chiccomallo

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General Discussion / Party
« on: January 04, 2016, 03:40:27 PM »
If you don't know, Tomorrow ( Tuesday ) at approx. 4PM Steve the waiter is having his retirement/birthday party down in the function room. Its free to enter & everyone is welcome although he will be collecting donations for the children's charity in Los G. The Twilight shadows will be entertaining us, so be there or be square

General Discussion / Re: Transportation of caravan from UK to Spain
« on: December 29, 2015, 07:06:31 PM »
My neighbour works for "Ontime" in Kent collecting broken down cars using a flat bed trailer as apposed to a double decker. He also collects caravans & sometimes gets to stop here at Los Gallardos. It might be worth contacting them , if he's coming down empty to collect a car they might put it on for you. I don't have an address but you could Google it if your interested.

Jokes & Quips & moments of levity / House
« on: December 15, 2015, 09:20:15 AM »
My neighbours house has a big "FOR LEASE" sign out the front.
 So, in the Christmas spirit I took a black felt tip pen wth me and wrote, "NAVIDAD" underneath

Jokes & Quips & moments of levity / Internet
« on: December 13, 2015, 10:34:44 AM »
The Internet is amazing. You have access to every possible piece of information known to man.

And yet here you are reading this  ???

Jokes & Quips & moments of levity / Advent
« on: December 04, 2015, 09:25:35 AM »
Microsoft sent me an advent calendar in the post.
I'm not opening Windows 7 8 or 10

Jokes & Quips & moments of levity / Calender
« on: December 03, 2015, 05:10:12 PM »
I got a Jehovah's Witness themed advent calender for Christmas.

I won't be opening any of the doors.

Jokes & Quips & moments of levity / Michael
« on: November 21, 2015, 06:13:35 PM »

Spare a thought for poor ole for Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair.

After arriving in a hotel in Dublin, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of Guinness.

The barman nodded and said, "That will be €1 please, Mr. O’Leary."

Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we do try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman.

"And we are serving free pints every Wednesday from 6pm until 8pm.

We have the cheapest beer in Ireland".

"That is remarkable value", Michael comments.

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.

That will be €3 please." O'Leary scowled, but paid up.

He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman.

"That'll be an extra €2.

You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you €1."

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please".

Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4 for your seat sir".

O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up.

"I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman.

"And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another €3."

O'Leary was so incensed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be €2 please."

O'Leary's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?" "Of course I do Mr. O'Leary." "I've had enough!

What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this.

I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his E-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9.00am and 9.01am every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number.

Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only €1 per second, or part thereof".

"I will never use this bar again". "OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for €1.

General Discussion / Re: Looking good
« on: November 21, 2015, 10:21:41 AM »
I will have a pint of what your having Galty

Buying, Selling & Gifting / Re: Gazebo furniture
« on: November 18, 2015, 12:27:57 PM »
If stinky don't have it make sure you put it in the bins & not round it LOL

General Discussion / Re: Looking good
« on: November 16, 2015, 09:22:35 PM »
There also seems to be a group of people who don't understand the concept of breaking cardboard boxes down. Its not a difficult process I once saw a dog rip a cardboard box up. When I take my rubbish down to the bins there's often an empty box placed by the side of the bin that someone has put there expecting some one else to rip up for them, disgusting really !

Buying, Selling & Gifting / Re: Tea leaf
« on: November 05, 2015, 09:36:12 AM »
You could be right as there are one or two talking snakes knocking about !

Buying, Selling & Gifting / Tea leaf
« on: October 22, 2015, 03:56:19 PM »
A couple of years ago we bought a grapefruit tree from one of the garden centers & planted it just by our gate, we've never had any fruit on it until a few weeks ago. We have been watching 6 grape fruits grow for several weeks looking forward to the day when we could harvest our own fruit. I don't like grapefruit but Sharon loves it & it's been nice watching her check to see how big they were getting. This morning she said that the 2 largest ones would be ready for picking & went out to get them, when she came back she was really upset because some thieving bastard had beaten her to it & had taken them ! You have got to be pretty damn desperate to nick a couple of grape fruits & if I find out who's had them broken fingers will be on the menu, she's taken the other 4 off although they are not ready yet just to make sure she actually gets to taste them.

Jokes & Quips & moments of levity / Costume
« on: October 19, 2015, 01:01:08 PM »
I've spent the last month shopping for a Bono fancy dress costume.
 But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Jokes & Quips & moments of levity / Annoyed
« on: October 18, 2015, 05:34:20 PM »
your browser keeps telling me that i have problems with my plug-ins not responding. So, heeding your warnings, i left all my plugs out and, guess what, my laptop has now completely run out of power and isn't working at all - and, what's more, my home is freezing cold. have i just been hacked? no wonder cyber crime is on the rise if it's being perpetrated by people within google itself. disgraceful!

Jokes & Quips & moments of levity / website
« on: October 16, 2015, 05:28:32 PM »
I've just created a website selling and delivering sausages over the Internet

 I'll send you the link

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